How do you deal with people who lack empathy? To judge is to pedestal yourself while failing to see the very connectedness that empathy is defined by – the connectedness that we all share. It’s “let’s see how desperate you are for my validation/approval.”
If anyone puts conditions around their empathy, that’s not empathy. Just like empathy cannot be selective, it also can’t be conditional.In order to connect and empathize with you, they would have to be vulnerable enough to connect to something within themselves.
If someone can’t be vulnerable, they have no empathy to give.
Empathy and vulnerability go hand-in-hand. They have no empathy for themselves and therefore, give out selective validation wrapped in a cloak of pseudo “empathy.” These people aren’t truly empathizing because selective empathy is impossible. You’re constantly trying to “be better” for and understand them on a deeper level. This is what makes you ignore red flags and stay in toxic relationships. They do this because, as long as they can prove to you that they have the capacity to “empathize” with others, they can keep you in a state of fear-based hopefulness that one day, if you are “good enough,” they will do the same for you. The reason why some people seem to “withhold”/have no empathy for you and so readily give it out to others is NOT because you aren’t good enough. Just like you can’t be a millionaire and claim poverty when it suits you, you cannot be selectively empathetic. If you’re involved in a relationship where you feel as though there is a lack of empathy, here’s what you need to know: This is because there was a lack of empathy. I used to find myself in relationships and friendships where I felt more alone than if I were to be physically alone in a jail cell. That’s not what empathy is about.Įmpathy is when you can be there and feel with someone, not just for them. For me, empathy meant giving second chances that were never earned and excusing sh*tty behavior from toxic people. I would make it all about me needing to “be good enough,” and then tie my worth to the impossibility of ever being able to do so. The “empathy” that I felt for others was nothing more than me feeling for them. I didn’t have any true empathy to give others because I had no empathy for myself. You can’t give a dollar that you don’t have. We will only tolerate relationships with people who treat us no worse than we treat ourselves. In the past, I would overly-empathize with others but continued to find myself in relationships where the other person had zero empathy for me. If there is a lack of empathy in your relationship, you don’t have a mutual and healthy relationship. It’s about feeling and being there with someone – even if you haven’t been through exactly what they are going through. Wikipedia defines empathy as “the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within the other being’s frame of reference, i.e., the capacity to place oneself in another’s position.”Įmpathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. So, what do you do when you’re in love with someone who lacks empathy? How do you deal with an unempathetic partner? Is it even possible to date (or have any kind of relationship with) someone who has a lack of empathy? What is Empathy? Empathetic bankruptcy is the common denominator of all toxic relationships. If you have no empathy for yourself, you’ll keep chasing love, acceptance, and validation from those who cannot empathize with you either (but that you somehow, continue to have an abundance of empathy for). The level of confidence, self-love, and power that you feel is, one-hundred percent of the time, linked to the level of empathy that you have for yourself. The same goes for the relationship that you have with yourself. The level of happiness, intimacy, and connection that you feel in your relationships will always be directly linked to the level of empathy that both you and your partner have. Why is A Lack of Empathy in Relationships so Hard?
0 kommentar(er)
